A RealFamilies RealFun Blog

Dec 31 2008

When you get back

Category: Just Me

Paul and I have an announcement to make. We went away to Vegas for four days, left the kids with our friend Linda and her husband Robert, and everyone was fine while we were gone. Can you believe it? No major meltdowns. No embarrassing family revelations. No injuries or trips to the emergency room either.

The worse thing that happened was that Nathan came back with tangerine colored nail polish covered toes. That's what happens when you hang out with a bunch of girls. Paul, of course, is not amused. I guess next time we'll have to send them to a house with just boys. (Hi Merrie!) It's not like Lucie will learn any bad boy habits from an all male household. She's already a champion nose picker, burper, and farter. And if she comes back covered in dirt with a Packers t-shirt on? Well, that's how she looks most days, too.

Linda said that the kids were very easy to take care of. Lucie was sweet and did what she was told. Nathan was a super helper, and took good care of his sister. They got along with Linda's girls, too. In fact, they were having so much fun that they didn't even miss us.

On the way back from the airport, we picked them up and took them home. Then all hell broke loose. They were defiant, rude, surly, grumpy, and naughty all week. They fought constantly. Their favorite response was NO! I was glad to take Nathan to school each morning just so I didn't have to deal with his attitude and the fighting with his sister. When Linda said she would be glad to take them anytime, I told her not to tempt me. I was just minutes away from dropping them off at her house -- along with all their clothes, toys, and adoption papers. It was that bad.

Then things slowly started getting better. The number of days we were gone was equal to the days that Nathan and Lucie were mean, evil and rotten. Did they have to recharge their "goodness batteries" after being extra good at Linda's house? Or were they just mad at us for leaving, and subconsciously getting back at us? Who knows?

And even though we had a great time in Vegas (we went out for a friend's wedding, had some fantastic meals, and saw a few terrific shows, too) I wonder if taking that much time away from the kids is worth it. The backlash certainly isn't. Even so, I'm just glad things are finally getting back to normal around here.

Dec 25 2008

This year's holiday newsletter

Category: Just Me

Do you have a yearly newsletter that you send out? We do. It's a great way to keep friends and relatives around the world up-to-date on what we're doing. But I have some rules about our newsletter.

First, now that we have kids, there must be a picture of the two of them -- and none of us. No one really needs to see how old, gray and fat Paul and I are getting. Second, I try to emphasize the positive and leave out the negative, like Paul's and Nathan's car accident. If I do put something negative in, I try to put a positive spin on it. Nathan was born a few months after my dad died, so I wrote about how the new generation replaces the old one.

Third, I try not to brag...too much. Nathan and Lucie ARE cute and smart -- and moody, naughty monkey children, too. I try to find a balance and use lots of humor. Fourth, I keep it to one page and don't mention any health issues. No need to freak out -- or bore -- the relatives. Finally, I try not to complain about all of Paul's exotic trips and general goofing around. Instead, I brag about all my writing accomplishments.

Here's the condensed version of this year's newsletter:

It's scary how fast 2006 has gone and how big the children are getting. Nathan is now a first grader. He's progressed into a fantastic reader, is doing great on spelling tests and still has time to play a mean game of golf or chess. He has a regular bunch of buddies who he plays football and soccer with at recess, and is popular with his peers, the older students and his teachers. Nathan will be seven in February and we're still blown away how grown up he is...and what kind of attitude comes with that (sigh). He's really a surly teenager in a little kid's body and has the appetite to prove it; he usually eats four scrambled eggs for breakfast. He's still as skinny as a rail, though.

Lucie is now three-and-a-half and a preschooler. Thank goodness her teachers are patient. You see, Lucie is a pill! Dramatic, smart, sweet, moody and cute -- it's a lethal combination. She's enjoying ballet classes, chilling with her stuffed animal entourage, making friends, destroying the house, playing tea party and dress-up, and watching the Power Rangers with her brother. She's also a card shark and a master UNO player. She's even figured out how to get snacks out of the freezer and dishes out of the cupboard all by herself. Very independent, this one.

As usual, the grownups are busy, too. Anne-Marie's writing career took off in 2006. She won two writing awards for her blog, "Citizen Mom's Family Journal." (Yes, she's one of the lucky few who actually get paid to blog.)

Anne-Marie's also doing Web content writing and copywriting for local business clients. She's been approached by one -- a start-up healthy foods business -- to be their future marketing director. She's still on the board of directors for Nathan's school, and is selling Usborne Books. Anne-Marie also attended Usborne's and a women's blogging convention this year, and hopes to bring the family with her to BlogHer in July 2007 in Chicago.

Paul has been busy fishing, camping, hiking, hunting, golfing, fixing up motorcycles, gardening, going to sporting events and traveling to Boston, Mexico, Berlin, Prague and Austria. Somehow, he still manages to hold a full-time job, go to business conferences, help out Nathan's t-ball coaches and let Lucie use him as a trampoline. He's happy to report that some of the empty living room wall space will soon be filled up by an antelope head and a 10-point deer buck shoulder mount. Anne-Marie's just glad for all the wild game meat in the freezer.

Paul's mom, "Nana," has been out several times this year, which is always fun for the kids. After all, who else but a grandma can play Candy Land all day? The good news is that she's planning to move to Colorado Springs early next year to be closer to us and other family in Colorado.

The exciting news was that Anne-Marie's mom, "Meme," came to visit in November! She had not seen Nathan and Lucie in nearly two years, so we were glad that she felt well enough to come out. We had a wonderful time with her and can't wait until she comes out this spring for the children's birthdays. We also hope to help her celebrate her next birthday in San Diego this June.

We hope this finds you and your families happy, safe and healthy. Here's to a great 2007!

Anne-Marie, Paul, Nathan and Lucie

Dec 15 2008

When children behave badly

Category: Just Me

I attended an Usborne Book seller convention last summer. Several of the speakers said the same thing:  Be positive! No one likes to be around negative people!

I tend to be a negative person and love to complain about things. Still, the advice stayed with me after the convention was over. So I committed to being more positive, at least in my business dealings and in my writing.

Yet motherhood is not all sunshine, rose petals, and petit-fours. Actually 25% is complete drudgery. Another 25% is the pits and in the depths-of-despair range. You survive because 25% of just o.k. and the remaining 25% is filled with brilliance and joy. Yet most of the time, you wish you could return your kids for a full refund, or at least partial store credit.

Lately, as soon as we pick Nathan up, the kids start fighting. And I don't mean arguing back and forth over the finer points of which Power Ranger is more powerful than the others. Instead it's the full volume screaming and whining and it drives me nuts.

"Mommy, Nathan hit me," accuses Lucie.

"Momma, Lucie was being rude," retorts Nathan.

"No, I wasn't!" she yells.

"Yes, you were!" he loudly insists.

"STOP IT!" I scream. "Kids, I'm mailing you to Nana in a big box," I threaten as I try to spot the neighborhood UPS man on the way home. I'm exhausted, completely exasperated by their behavior and my reaction to it.

I try to minimize the fighting whenever I can, making sure they get equal servings of treats or both get the same amount of videos to check out at the library. Still it's impossible to avoid the fighting, since they both feel the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. So no matter how much careful thought and planning goes into giving them something, they want what the other one has.

I'm tired of negotiating between the two parties and trying to persuade them to trade, share, or take turns. Mommy doesn't want to pretend to be Switzerland anymore. Instead, I'm to the point of letting them fight fire with fire and just scream it out amongst themselves. That is as long as I can get a good set of ear plugs so I don't have to hear it all.