A RealFamilies RealFun Blog

Jul 17 2008

Living in the now

Category: At Home

In Sarah Napthali's Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children she writes about "living in the now" with your children. As a Type A mom, I find this extremely hard to do.

Often I find that parenting involves more planning than doing. Many days I'm more involved with my kids' to-do list than with my actual kids. Register for preschool nine months before school starts. Check. Buy school uniforms on sale for next year. Check. Sign up for summer golf camp in the spring. Check. Put money in college fund for fall 2018 tuition payment. Check.

Nathan has this problem as well. He constantly asks, "What are we going to do next?" right in the middle of an activity. He's not satisfied when you tell him either. He wants to know what will happen after that, and then after the next thing, too. I tell him to enjoy what he's doing now, and not to worry about what's coming next. It's advice I should take, too.

 

Jul 16 2008

Baby Bear

Category: Just Me

Like Nathan, I have one special stuffed animal friend. Her name is Baby Bear. She's accompanied me to camp, on sleepovers, and to Europe. She came to college with me, and sat with my best friend at my wedding. She's been such a part of my life that my mother calls Baby Bear her first grandchild.

At the ripe age of 41, she now resides in Lucie's room, a senior and respected member of Lucie's stuffed animal posse. Lucie knows she's an old bear -- older than daddy, but not quite as old as mommy. I've told her to be kind to Baby Bear and treat her very gently. Lucie tends to leave her alone, choosing to play with her other stuffed animals instead.

Imagine my surprise yesterday when I came downstairs to find Lucie and Baby Bear engrossed in an intense game of doctor. Using the toy medical kit she got for Christmas, Lucie took Baby Bear's temperature (a very worrisome 38 degrees) and listened to her heart. After making the diagnosis of a bad tummy from eating too many chips and too much ice cream, Dr. Lucie gave her some medicine. She then laid the bear down on the couch, put a pillow under her head, and wrapped her up in her blankie. After a brief rest, Lucie brought her patient over to me and said she felt all better.

I thanked Dr. Lucie profusely, amused at my old friend and my little daughter spending time together and having so much fun.

 

Jul 15 2008

Drawings in time

Category: At Home

I'm inundated with kid stuff. Brightly colored toys have taken over the family room and bedrooms. The kitchen cupboards are stuffed with plastic cups from restaurants, tourist attractions, and sporting events.  Yet, I know it's temporary. Toys are outgrown and sold at consignment shops or donated. Plastic cups wear out and are replaced by sports bottles.

But what about all the paperwork?

Each week, Nathan comes home with a backpack bursting with weekly assignments, art projects, teacher's notes, and event fliers. I put them in a large folding file. Once the file is full, I throw away the fliers and worksheets without regret.

But his drawings of crooked faces with spiky hair and squishy bodies with long limbs are impossible to part with. I love it when he labels them "mom" or "dad" especially since I tend to agree with his representation of my "grumpy mom, working in her sweats" appearance.

Lucie's drawings are even more endearing. She draws alien beings with lumpy potato shaped heads, big expressive eyes, button noses, and wide grins. Lacking bodies, their limbs are attached directly to their heads. Dancing, grinning, or reclining leisurely, the drawings show expression and humor. I often display the drawings on the dining room table. I smile every time I walk by them.

I could be really practical, and scan the drawings into the computer. Yet, there's something special about holding a piece of paper your child drew on years ago. So I compromise. I determine which drawings best represent a certain period of time, and put them away in "memory boxes" along with hospital bracelets, baby announcements, ticket stubs, birthday cards, and other mementos.

Since I have a fear of turning into one of those crazy people whose homes are filled with monster stacks of paper, I take the rest of the drawings, and shove them deep into the recycling bin. Quickly covering them with newspapers, my heart breaks at tossing the tangible output of my children's artistic souls. It feels like throwing away a cherished moment in time.