A RealFamilies RealFun Blog

Dec 1 2008

Just call me Ishmael

Category: Just Me

I was at my friend Maria's home the other night. When I walked in, her girls quietly asked their mother, "Who's that?" I laughed, because they had seen me numerous times, but never without Lucie.

Maria and I both told the girls to call me Mrs. Nichols. Still they couldn't get over that I was a Mrs. Anyone and insisted on calling me "Lucie's mom" all night.

I've noticed this behavior with other children in Lucie's playgroup. There's no Mrs. Nichols or even Anne-Marie, it's always Lucie's mom or the funnier expression, Mrs. Lucie's Mom. Now that I'm going to be volunteering in Nathan's classroom, I'm sure I'll be called Mrs. Nathan's Mom, too.

Honestly, even after 12 years of marriage, I'm still not used to being called Mrs. Nichols. After all, that's Paul's mom, not me! But this Mrs. Lucie's/Nathan's Mom? I love it. Yep, that's who I am alright.

 

Nov 24 2008

Monday morning blues

Category: Just Me

Even though I had gotten up early, I was running late after doing a bit of work on the computer. And no matter how much I told Nathan to hurry up, he was in low gear, taking twice as long to get dressed, eat breakfast, and pack up his stuff for school.

Seeing how it was already one of those Monday mornings, I waited until the last minute to wake up Lil' Miss Grumpy. Like her mother, Lucie's not a morning person. So I gathered her clothes and buddies, and gently woke her up. Lucie quickly got out of bed and ran downstairs. I followed with her clothes, detangling spray and hairbrush, hoping to get her dressed in the living room.

Then Lucie refused to get dressed. Now, usually I don't care. I think the biggest benefit of being three is that you can go anywhere in your pajamas. However, that day Lucie and I were meeting a writing client for the first time. (Yes, I bring Lucie with me to meet clients. I ask first, and most are very cool with it since they're usually parents, too.) I wanted him to think I was the organized mother of an intelligent, adorable little girl. Instead, it looked like I was mother to the Tasmanian Devil -- a very naughty, moody one at that.

After a huge struggle to put on her clothes, I finally carried a sobbing Lucie to the car. We arrived to school over 10 minutes late. I walked Nathan in and told him to apologize to his teacher for me and explain why we were late.

That afternoon I came to read to his class. As the children were getting reading for story time, his teacher pulled me aside to tell me what Nathan told her that morning. Nathan said, "Mrs. Villano, my mom says sorry for being late, but my sister was being a pain in the ass." She smiled and told me that she didn't think any of the other kids heard him.

"I am so sorry," I said, completely embarrassed. "But I think that's exactly what I said to Nathan when I walked him in. I was extremely frustrated with his sister's behavior this morning." As a teacher and a mother, Mrs. Villano knew what I was talking about. We had a good laugh about it.

However, I've learned my lesson. The next time I'm frustrated with the kids, I'll make sure I don't relay the information in such a, uh, plain spoken manner.

 

Nov 20 2008

More in common than we thought

Category: Just Me

I recently participated in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. For those of you not familiar with the Relay, you join a team to raise money for cancer research and participate in an overnight relay. Our local Relay was held at the high school outdoor track. Each hour for 12 hours, at least one person from my mom's club's team walked the track. If we weren't walking, we sat around talking and eating when we weren't trying to catch some sleep in our tent.

There's nothing like hanging out all night with other people to get to know them better. I invited a couple of moms I knew from Nathan's school to join our team. One of them serves on the charter school board with me. While we knew we had a lot in common, from marketing and writing backgrounds to a love of punk and new wave, it was great to finally sit and chat with no little people or grumpy board members interrupting us. We talked about everything from religion to our families, and hope this is the beginning of a closer friendship if we can find the time to get our families together. (She has an even crazier schedule than I have.)

As the entire team walked the last lap at 6 a.m., she told me of the couple of times her son, who's a year older than Nathan, had to do a "refocus" at school. Like Nathan, her son was having a tough time adjusting to school. Then she told me about a friend of hers who is having a tough time with her six-year-old son's rotten, teenage-like behavior. I could really relate.

I looked back at the struggle I had with Nathan's problems almost a year ago. At the time I wondered what I had done wrong to cause a sweet little boy to become so defiant and stubborn. Talking with my new friend, I realized how normal Nathan was after all. It seems that many of the boys we knew in that age group -- all of them smart, shy and sweet -- were struggling with behavioral issues and strong emotions at school. Funny how we had all kept our little secret to ourselves and that it took a sleep deprivation to chat about it.

We moms definitely need to talk more.