Oct 15 2008
Conspiracy theory
I don't know why but in the past few weeks I have been getting the craziest comments from friends and acquaintances:
- Oh, I just have to tell you, your kids are so adorable.
- That Lucie, the things she says! It's hard to believe she's only three.
- Nathan gets things so quickly. He's such a smartie.
- Your children are so well behaved. And they play together so well.
Huh, my kids? Yes, they're cute, but so are the monkeys at the zoo. They spend most of their time fighting with each other and messing up my house. Often I wonder what they're thinking when Lucie puts a yogurt encrusted spoon in the silverware drawer or Nathan changes into sweats and long sleeves in the middle of summer. I just shake my head and wonder, what is wrong with you two?
Maybe there is another set of Nathans of Lucies out there, and I got stuck with their evil twins. Or possibly it's a conspiracy by my children to screw with my head. I can see it now, secret midnight meetings between the two of them in Lucie's closet.
"How can we drive mom crazy this week?" ponders Nathan as he pushes the diaper pail aside.
"I know," says Lucie sitting on a pile of pull ups. "I'll act like a baby. I'll only use the potty for the babysitter and I'll speak in baby talk."
"Good one, sis." Nathan says. "Maybe I'll throw a rock at Mom at the golf course, and then look dumbfounded when she asks me why I did it. That's sure to get her blood boiling."
"I'll do my usual 'decorating the house with yogurt' thing," Lucie adds. "Maybe I'll drop some popsicles on the carpet for that extra special touch."
"Not bad," Nathan says. "I plan to ask Mom a question, then ask the same thing again and again in 20 minute intervals. That's guaranteed to drive her insane."
Actually, maybe the kids are brighter and work together better than I thought.
